La Bella Vita

Why do we sometimes feel like we’ve failed? I think everyone experiences feeling like a failure from time to time or at least once in their lifetime. We feel like we’ve failed when we set goals for ourselves and we miss the mark. Be it by a lil or a lot. It can be at anything and at anytime. I think we feel it when we stop and ponder about things or where we are in our lives.

On the other hand, if we don’t set any goals or expectations, we wouldn’t be able to fail right? That being said, setting goals in life is important as it plays a huge part in giving us the push that we need and something to look forward to, to achieve. Without something to look forward to, we will eventually lose our purpose and ourselves. Life would be mundane, dull and that’s when most people give up trying.

But, why is it that when a marriage fails, you can’t help but feel like a failure? For me, I had thoughts that I failed when my marriage ended months ago. I felt that way because I wanted to be married once in my lifetime and I wanted to make things work no matter how hard or difficult it may have turned out. I was very patient when things were bad. I didn’t budge or even thought of leaving, not even once. That being said when he threw the towel in, it hurt and it made me feel that whatever I’ve done or haven’t done, well it felt that it just wasn’t enough. Weeks after we ended, I stopped blaming myself and came to the conclusion that we just weren’t right for each other despite how much we once loved each other. We made sacrifices for each other so that can only meant we did truly love one another right?

I think we should stop feeling like failures when things don’t work out the way we envision them because things doesn’t go as plan most of the time anyway. We need to learn to accept things as they come. Learn to be alright with things at the end of the day. So, maybe the key is to have acceptance. Accept that things can go south sometimes and that it will be alright nevertheless. Maybe even take it as a blessing because if something was meant for you, it would workout in it’s own way. We need to learn to be less tough on ourselves from time to time as the world and expectations we set can sometimes get overwhelming.

XoXo, VA