3rd June 1961…

3rd June is an important date as that was the date that Mom, Florence Yip was born. Therefore tomorrow would have been her 60th Birthday. Usually, I would send her flowers, get her a gift and treat her to a nice meal with cake of course. This is the first year that we haven’t been able to celebrate her Big Day. It’s been almost 6 months since she left us and not a day goes by without us missing her. We can’t visit her tomorrow because the current FMCO (Lockdown). I’ve made her Rose scented beeswax candle for her. Will have to wait until the lockdown is lifted till we could go visit her. Mom, we didn’t forget your birthday. I hope that you know that.

Mom grew up poor in Ipoh. She was the 5th child to my grandparents, She was the youngest and the cheekiest on top of things as she got my grandfather wrapped around her finger. She was the only one who was sent to an English Convent for her school education. I remember Mom telling me that after her dad passed when she was 12yrs old, she started working part-time after school hours to give money to her mother. She worked as a seamstress and also tutored. Prior to her dad passing away, the family ran a canteen business at the army camp. She even had a pet pig at one point in time.

Despite her circumstances, Mom was an extrovert that loved helping people. She was also very active in sports and represented her school in Volley Ball. Mom was well known as being a social butterfly. I’m pretty sure I got that trade from her. The ability to make friends just instantly. My Mom was always surrounded by her group of girlfriends that she kept in touch all these years. People are naturally drawn by my Mom’s energy. She’s always been very bubbly and her smile is infectious.

Before Mom met dad when she was 18. She was working at a car battery shop and dad saw her walking past daily during lunch break as at that time, dad was a site supervisor and he was high up and saw her. My dad then decided to ask around to find out who Mom was. Eventually, he learned where she worked and he decided to write her a letter. That was how my Mom and dad met and the rest was history.

My Mom always had a huge heart when it came to people and she would never think twice in helping out those in need, I guess she developed this compassion for people because she had nothing growing up. That’s another reason why she taught me to be charitable since I was young and that we should share. Friends and neighbours and family nevertheless loved Mom because she was very friendly and she would always be there for you. Mom was never selfish but always giving. She never demanded for anything but, dad pampered her because she deserved everything in the world.

Dad took good care of Mom from the day he met her until her last breath. He made her quit her job to start a family with him and supported her financially. My dad definitely is 1 in a million. Also, when Mom was bedridden during her last 6 months on earth, dad did everything to look after her. He fed her, changed her diapers and cleaned her while he slept on the floor beside her. It made Mom very sad but if that’s not proof that true love exists, what is? Will I ever be lucky to find love like that?

XoXo, VA

Conversations I Need To Have…

I have been running my own company since 2017. I remember how worried I was and how badly I wanted a partner to do it with me. Back then, it was my ex that I thought would be in it with me but, he hated commitment and he talked me into doing it by myself. So, that was how I became the solo Founder/CEO/Director/Business Owner. I’ve definitely learned, struggled and succeeded by myself through the years. Doing it all alone is definitely not easy as you are both the Boss and also the Worker plus you have to deal and handle everything from A to Z of the business but, that being said; when things don’t workout, you learn from it and you only have your own to reflect or blame for it. Though when you succeed, the taste of victory never tasted so good.

I’m starting to look at my life and realized that since I was young, I was taught to be independent from a very young age. Many might say, “That can’t be true since you’re the only child. Am sure your parents spoilt you rotten…” Reality with the Yip-Atkinson upbringing was, if you wanted something you’ll have to earn it. We’re not going to just give it to you. My parents worked hard themselves to build what they have today – the properties, the cars and the lifestyle. I’m thankful that my parents taught me the meaning of the word, “No”. That was a word that I heard often growing up. When I asked for my first pair of Black Basketball LA Gears with Red LED light at the heel. They flash with each step you take. I remember I waited really long to get that pair of kicks when I was 8. I also remembered that I had to make sure I got straight A’s and behaved well for a really long period but, when my parents finally got them for me, Boy!! I was over the moon and I cherished every step that I took in them.

I truly owe a lot to my parents. The love and patience they had with me growing up. I wasn’t crazy naughty or a trouble maker and I definitely was a good student in school that got good grades and was athletic as I enjoyed playing sports but, that being said I did go through the famous rebellious stage during my teenage years. I remember how I just didn’t want to be in photos and if I was, I’d be displaying RBF (Resting Bitch Face).

If I could turn back time or visit Young Valerie, what would I tell her? I think I would say this, “Life will get better with time. You will work in many companies but, the role that taught you the most and groomed you the most would be the role you had as A Business Development Executive/PA to your Director. That would be the most stressful job you’ll ever experience but, you also learned the most with all the projects and responsibilities that your director put on your shoulders. That being said, if it’s possible to change your career path, you should get into Recruitment once you graduate from College as you’ll make tonnes of money from it compared to the rest of the jobs. Also, control your shopping habit and safe more money and invest your money wisely. You will meet many interesting people along the way and you will get your heartbroken countless times. It may hurt a lot when it happens especially the break up that happened in 2013 that took the longest to get over and heal. 5 years to be exact but, that’s alright because it only meant that you were truly inlove and that it mattered. Because of that, you turned into a workaholic to mend and guard your heart. You will meet someone great in 2018 and it would feel like he’s your soulmate. You will later get engaged and married but, you will not get the happy ending you always wanted. He will break your heart and shatter your dreams but, you will not hate or blame him because he gave you happiness once and also because he proved to you that someone wanted you to be their wife and he also gave Mom the opportunity to see you get married in 2019 before she got really sick in 2020. 2020 will be tough for everyone because a pandemic would hit the world. Mom’s health will start deteriorating in mid 2020 because her cancer would have spread rapidly and she would lose the battle she fought so hard for 5 years. To prevent this from happening, make sure Mom gets her yearly check ups and screen for cancer in 2013/2014, You might be able to change the course of her history and safe her because losing her in December 2020 will leave you devastated and ever so lonely than you already are. The pandemic will still be around in 2021 and life would be very different from what you’re used to now but, you will meet many new people this year and you’ll learn who’s your true, real friends when you need them the most. You might eventually meet someone special to. Just don’t overthink things and just go with the flow. You’re such a thinker Dear Valerie that sometimes you worry over nothing. You will be okay at the end of the day. You have to be because you are Valerie Atkinson!!…”

XoXo, VA

2021, 5 Months In…

The year is 2021, the month is now May. 5 months into the year. You know how most people are saying that we need a reset button for 2020 or a refund for the year as it was just almost total BS? Well, 2021 is starting to look like another loop of crazy. Well, atleast in my opinion as I’ve been dealt some horrible cards the first few months of the year. I was truly disappointed and deeply hurt because my dreams and hopes were shattered just like that. But, there is some positive out of it though. It’s like I’ve been given a second chance in the love department. LOL. This time, I’m going to choose wiser. I’m only going to let someone who is worthy and deserving of my love in.

Work has been moving forward. I’ve acquired some new clientele which is good. I have some new roles to work on. Let’s close some roles and make that money!! 😀

I can’t help but miss my Mom more recently due to my Birthday, Mother’s Day and her Birthday that’s coming up very soon. I hope that you’ve been well my Dearest Mom. Please forgive me for the tears that I’ve shed over the months. I know you wouldn’t want to see me sad but, how can I not miss your presence. We used to chat and speak to each other every other day and I love the way you used to laugh about things and nag me about things. I miss your love and caring nature.

I’m still on the fence about getting the C-19 Vaccination as there’s a few options now. To wait and get Pfizer sometime next year or to volunteer for AstraZaneca or Sinovac? Choices… I really dunno TBH. But, if that’s the only way for me to travel, I’ll have to eventually take it no matter what as Boy, I really want to fly. The last time, I flew internationally was in 2016. That was freaking long ago. Can you imagine, it’s been almost 5yrs since I last left this country? Damn!!

I’m starting to miss being able to just travel. Remember how it was Pre-C-19 Days? If you wanted to travel, all you would need is your passport and air tickets mainly. Now, you need to fill up a gazillion forms, get C-19 tested prior to your flights and follow so many freaking SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures). Will we ever go back to how it used to be? As it’s now a year plus that we’ve been having to live in this C-19 times. I think it makes many wonder and ponder this issue.

On a different note, is this a blessing in disguise that this happened or is it a curse? I think most will say the later. Well, for me I think if it wasn’t for it, I wouldn’t have seen some peoples’ true colours and I would most likely still be stuck in a hurtful relationship.

That being said, do you think this pandemic has made people drift apart by the different challenges that it brings with it or does it make people appreciate each other more and drive people closer in the process? I know that this tests relationships especially those in LDRs (Long Distance Relationships) as flying is way trickier than it used to be. If you’re in one now, how long will you be willing to wait for your partner? If it was me, my answer would be, no matter how long it will take. I will patiently wait and, I’d surely keep intouch over Videocalls, Voicecalls and Texting for sure. Thank God and the brilliant minds behind those awesome interactive apps.

How’s your 2021 been for you? I’d like to hear about it in the comments below.

XoXo, VA

The Relationship That We Deserve…

Love is many things and being in a relationship is supposed to be easy and you should not have to guess where you are going next. I want a love where we build each other up through our declaration of commitment for each other. A love that makes us continually grow to be better people together. I know that both of us can be unlovable and difficult at times. Instead of running in the other direction, let us be there for one another. I am tired of dealing with emotional unavailability and people running away when things get tough. Let us stick together through the good and the bad. I am 100% here to give what I can give for this relationship to work no matter what.

I want us to be able to have any conversation despite how random or weird it may be, where we can listen to one another without judgment. I hope we share a love where we do not need to keep score of each other’s mistakes and forgiveness is at the tip of our tongues. And when we forgive, we forget and move on from it, not holding any grudges or pulling it up during our next disagreement but instead, we discuss and resolve things together.

I want a mature kind of love, love that is always genuine, patient, and free from neediness. I want a relationship where there is a healthy amount of communication between us. If something is not going right, I want us to talk it to each other instead of about each other. I hope you know that you do not need to depend on me or anyone else to make you feel loved. I want you to grow independently, without having to need me so much that there is no room to breathe in this relationship. It is not love if we cannot have freedom from one another.

Let us be able to have the freedom to breathe in our own thoughts and feelings. I want a relationship where we are both secure enough to support each other’s dreams unconditionally. I hope that we are mature enough to fight for our love and to accept one another as who we are, not a personal preconceived ideal of how love should be.

XoXo, VA