18th Dec 2021 – A year since you left us Mom. How time has passed us by. It’s still surreal that you’re gone. I guess a huge part of me still doesn’t want to believe that it’s true. You’ve been missed dearly by everyone who were lucky enough to meet you. A kind soul that never thought twice in helping those in need, a true friend, a feisty and bubbly person and a loving, caring mother to me.
I know that you wished that I’d stop crying. Trust me, I wish I could but, the pain of knowing that you’re not around hurts a lot and it breaks me from time to time. The emotions comes in waves and when it does, it hits hard. So, please forgive me when I breakdown. It only meant that you left a huge impact on me, on many peoples’ lives.
How are things on the other side Mom? I hope that you’ve been coping well there. I always joke with Dad that you have alot of catching up with there with family and friends that left years ago. I hope that things on the other side has been good and that you’re happy. We’ll never stop missing you. I hope that you love the roses that Dad and I got for you and the Rose scented beeswax candle that I made for you.
28th of October 2021 would have been my parents’ 38th Wedding Anniversary. They met when my Mom was 18 and my Dad was 24. The duration of them being together is one thing but what matters more was how they were like together all those years – how they handled their differences and the tough times together. It only made their relationship stronger than ever with every obstacle they faced. The biggest thing was how difficult it was when Mom couldn’t walk at the end of June 2020 and she eventually became bedridden. How my Dad looked after her without any help from any Caregiver only proof how much he truly loved Mom till her last breath. That’s true love.
When You Say Nothing At All was my Mom’s favourite song. Mom, this is for you. We miss you so much if you don’t already know.
My parents’ relationship gives me hope that true love exists and that I’d be lucky to someday meet someone that could truly love me and stay with me no matter what because they truly loved me and that we could work through things together no matter how tough they may be ego being put aside because our relationship matters more than anything else.
Yes, you read it right. People and esp. You, the one who is reading this. You need to learn how to mind your own business. Someone’s personal life is what it’s meant to be – That individual’s personal life. It has nothing to do with you or anyone else. Everyone deserves to keep their private/personal lives to themselves. You need to stop being nosy. You don’t see me prying into your personal life or your life for that matter. It’s because I don’t give a rat’s ass about it. There’s much more important things in life to think about and worry about. You’re just a relative, an acquaintance, friend or worse just a stranger that’s passing through life like everyone else.
And yes, I am not afraid to speak my mind and be my true authentic self. I eat people like you up and defecate you out like today’s breakfast. You don’t have my respect as respect if earned and you clearly have not earned any from me from talking behind my back. That makes me care less about you. Correction, I never even cared about your opinion or thoughts about me from the start. I’m not like you, a people’s pleaser that crave for attention and approval from others. I live my life the way I want to and desire. I won’t let society o social norms dictate my life as my life is my life. I’m not a public forum for people to voice out things.
The fact that you went behind my back and said that I’m suicidal baffles me. Because that’s just ridiculous to me. I’ve been through my life with it’s ups and downs just like anyone else’s and I still feel La Bella Vita… Life is freaking beautiful and since we’re only given one chance unless you’re a Buddhist you’ll believe in reincarnation, I plan to enjoy what’s given to me. In fact every inch of it. I will live my life to the fullest doing what I enjoy and do best.
So, nice try. I don’t care what you or you think about me. *points fingers at you reading this. If I did, I wouldn’t have the inks that I have just because society will stereotype me as a “bad person” or Yakuza because of my choices.
So, my point is – Just because your life isn’t as interesting as mine. Why is that? Well, it’s your own doing for living a dull life that my life caught your interest and you got obsessed. I feel sorry for you that you hide behind other’s people life who’s out there living their dreams and doing things in their life. Mind Your Own Business. Buzz off!! STOP being such a prude and rude…
I think I can call myself a Podcaster right since I’ve done 3 episodes thus far with my Cohost, Terry? We did 1 episode each week for 3 weeks straight and we took a week break and then resume with Episode 4 last weekend. We have discussed:
Does living apart keeps couples together?
Why does some relationships ends and others last a lifetime?
Why younger guys prefer dating older women?
FWB. Good Idea? Does It Work? Is It For You?
The first 2 weeks was definitely a challenge as we experienced so many different technical issues. From echoes, video not working to even no sound. We even had to redo Episode 2 when Terry wasn’t happy with the outcome of the video/podcast. This is what it’s like working with a perfectionist. I know it very well as I myself am a perfectionist too but recent years, I’ve trained myself to just let things be as life’s not perfect and I just don’t like being stressed out.
Doing The Vault Podcast has gave me a new experience and it’s definitely been a new experience. I actually look forward to every Saturday, 10pm Malaysia time and 10am, New York as we get to talk and discuss our experiences and Point Of Views (POV) over random things. I can’t wait till Terry and I are finally in the same city so that we can meet in person and also do the Podcast across from each other. I can only imagine how much more fun it will be when that happens.