61st @ 03.06.2022

Happy Birthday!! Mom. Today would have marked your 61st Birthday celebration. We would have gone out for a nice lunch/dinner and you would have gotten a present from me as always. That being said, I hope that you liked the Homemade Rose Essential Oil Beeswax Candle that I made for you and the Red Roses that Dad got for you today.

I spoke to Aunty Jasmine before seeing you and she mentioned to send you her love and that she misses you dearly when I saw you. She also mentioned that she hopes that you enjoyed the conversation she had with you. You’ve been gone for 1.5 years now and it hasn’t been easy for the most of us. As you know that I miss you and our conversations very dearly but, I’ve started to accept the fact that you’re in a better place and that you’re no longer suffering in pain. As you know, I’ve been better at living my life the way that you would have wanted. I’m coping the best way, that I could. I’m starting to learn to laugh and smile again. Keeping busy with running the multiple companies/businesses has been a much needed distraction.

Jimmy and Eddy also send their regards and they hope that you’re doing good up there. As you can tell that you left a huge impact even on my friends that you’ve only met once or twice. You are remembered dearly by many for the good aura that you always exuded and the kindness in your soul. You left a huge mark on this earth despite only being here for 59+ years. I’m proud that you are my Mom and I can only hope that I could be half the lady that you were – always helping those around her especially those that needed it. You were always giving, never a taker and your jokes truly light up the room. I love you Mom and I miss you so much. I hope that you’re having a good birthday celebration with your family and friends that are up there with you, laughing and just being the angel that you truly are.

Thank you for always looking out for me. It’s true that a parent’s bond with their child can’t and will never be broken. It’s an unconditional love that knows no boundaries.

XoXo, VA

2021 New Year’s Eve…

Most of you that are reading this post have been waiting for this day for a really long time as 2020 has been a nightmare for the most of us. Mainly because of the Covid-19 Pandemic and adapting to the new norm. Every New Year’s Eve and Birthday, I spend reflecting on my life and the year and today is no different. What has my 2020 been like? The most part of it was spent going to the hospital to see my Mom get her Vaccine Treatment or visiting her when she was admitted for atleast 4 days or up to a week’s period each time she had to be. The other part of the year was watching the news on the pandemic conditions here in Malaysia and looking out for quarantine measures. This year, I spent most of my time indoors at home and only going out when I really needed to only. Not forgetting heading over to my parents’ place to see Mom as she couldn’t walk since end of June and eventually became bedridden.

Most weekends were spent on Skype or Zoom Videocalls with Hubby when he wasn’t on some Onsite Work Trips. I still have not seen him since early July 2019 when he flew back to the US. He hates this distance as much as I do but we are left with no choice but to follow the rules that have been set in place.

Mom lost her battle to Cancer on the 18th of December 2020 and that was something Dad and I had to accept and deal with. We both miss her like crazy and wish that she was still with us but, we knew we had to let her go as she had been suffering since she couldn’t walk and she put up a good fight for herself and for us for the past 5 years. We’ll always cherish the precious moments we had with her. She’s missed by us, family and friends. Honestly, some days I still feel like it’s a dream. A dream that I hope to wake up from as it’s too difficult to accept the fact that she’s longer here with us. I’ve read that one doesn’t get over losing a loved one but one adapts to it. It doesn’t get easier but it becomes bearable as you learn to live with it.

Mom definitely was a big part of my year despite wishing we had more time together and for months now, I somewhat feel like me getting married last year was a blessing and it was meant to be as she was there to share the happy moment together as a family. I miss you so much Mee. I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing you. Dad I hope hope that the Lord is looking after you now and that you have reunited with Cookie, Hazel and other loved ones that have left us earlier on.

I’m not going to ask for 2021 to be a better year but, I want to learn to smile again if that’s even possible with the huge void that my Mom have left in my heart.

XoXo, VAS