Falling In Love…

Falling in love, one of the most euphoric feelings you can have. We all fall in love at some point in time. Maybe some more than others. Signs that you’re falling in love are:

You feel adventurous

You’re intensely curious about them

You feel their pain

You’re full of date ideas

You forget your other priorities

You crave sex

You feel like moving really fast—or slow with them

You enjoy sex more

You’re more affectionate

You feel positive about the future

You worry about things

You’re glued to your phone

You can’t stop smiling

You feel more love for others

You daydream

You feel like a better person

You feel safe

With love, you’re taking a risk with your heart as we don’t know what this new found love holds for us, in a week, in 6 months time or years down the road. But, love is a risk worth taking as the famous quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson, “’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” is particularly relevant.

Some relationships will last and others aren’t meant to. As hurtful as that may sound, I believe that we meet different people at different points in time for different reasons and purposes. Some will stick around through your difficult times and some will leave us with a broken heart. Some say that love is easy with the right person. I wouldn’t say easy but I would say that with the right person, it’s more worth your effort and time as they are atleast on the same page as you and they are also fighting by your side to make things work with you. Love definitely needs effort and nurturing for it to blossom into something that would lasts the test of time. But, whatever may come and happen, I believe that we all can learn a thing or two from the relationships that we’re in or was in at one point in time. So, it’s definitely not a waste of time hence I believe in giving your all or nothing at all when you want to be with someone.

XoXo, VA

Thank You…

Dear You,

I hope that you are doing well wherever you may be now. I hope that you’re smiling and laughing because that’s how I want to remember you. Despite what you say, I always thought that you had a charming smile and I was addicted to your laughter as it was a form of assurance that I was doing something right. I’ve always wished that you could see you from my perspective and eyes because you were perfect to me. You were my perfect imperfection.

I will forever be grateful for the time and moments that we shared together. When you loved, I felt it as it made me feel warm and safe when you were by my side. I remember how it felt like to see my phone screen lights up and I see your name appear, it always made my day. The excitement was a piece of bliss to me. Also, everything I did I thought about you and us and every decision was made to include you. That was how important you were in my life.

The sacrifices you made for me, for us meant the world to me. Maybe I didn’t get to tell you enough. Thank you for being you. I’m sorry for failing you or hurting you in any possible way. Please know that it was the last thing I wanted to do.

XoXo, VA

I’m Never Getting Over You…

When I came across this MV, I was wondering why the lead female singer looked like Colbie Caillat so I did some digging and it turned out to be her. LOL!! I didn’t know she joined a band called Gone West. Btw, this is my current fav song. I find myself listening to this song over and over again. I like how it sounds and the lyrics is meaningful. I feel it’s a nice breakup song. I’ve always had a soft spot for breakup songs over the years. In my opinion, Country genre has the best breakup songs. I know it’s weird coming from me, someone who cherish relationships but, I guess I always find myself with a broken heart at the end of the day. I know I’m going to break the cycle this round. I’m finally going to have a happy ending. I can only be wishful and hope for the best right? Afterall, I’m a hopeless romantic.

I’m Never Getting Over You
By: Gone West


I want the end to be easier than the start
You were a hopeful heart that I shattered apart
I wanna say goodbye and disappear, mm-mm
Don’t wanna watch if you break down into tears

Don’t try to make me stay
‘Cause I ain’t gonna change my mind

Take a good look at the pain in my face ‘fore you walk away
Memorize all the hurt in my eyes, not what I say
I’m gonna give you what you wanted
Though my heart will never stop
Tell you that I’m fine even though I’m not
You’re gonna know for the rest of your life this is true
I’m never gettin’ over you
I’m never gettin’ over you

We’ll move on and you’ll find somebody new
With everything I could never be for you, mm-mm
It’s hard to hear, but time is a broken heart’s best friend, uh-uh
And there’s a morning waitin’ for you
We don’t know what could’ve been
What could’ve been

Take a good look at the pain in my face ‘fore you walk away
Memorize all the hurt in my eyes, not what I say
I’m gonna give you what you wanted
Though my heart will never stop
Tell you that I’m fine even though I’m not
You’re gonna know for the rest of your life this is true
I’m never gettin’ over you
I’m never gettin’ over you

I can’t stop you from leavin’
And you can’t stop me from lovin’ you

So take a good look at the pain ‘fore you walk away
Memorize all the hurt in my eyes, not what I say
I’m gonna give you what you wanted
Though my heart will never stop
Tell you that I’m fine even though I’m not
You’re gonna know for the rest of your life this is true
I’m never gettin’ over you
I’m never gettin’ over you
I’m never gettin’ over you
I’m never gettin’ over you

When you fall in love, there is no guarantee that you’ll stay together or have a happy ending. That being said, is that going to prevent you from falling in love with the chance that your heart might get broken in the process? There’s a famous saying right? “It’s better to have been in love than never at all…” To be honest with you, I’ve gotten my heart broken countless times and I have broken many hearts along the way as well. Though, I’ve always tried to break peoples’ hearts as gently as possible. So, what’s your favourite breakup song? I would love to hear back in the comment section below.

XoXo, VA

Moving Forward…

When should you move on? When do you give up? To be honest, I hate giving up. I hate admitting defeat. I’m the type of person that still stays even though things suck big time. Why? It’s my Taurean nature. Stubborn, steadfast and loyal. That’s why I’ve been known to stick to things for the long haul once I commit to them. I fight and fight until I have no strength to get up. Even to that point, I will still try however I can to push forward despite how wounded and hurt I may be.

That being said, they say when you do the same thing over and over again, it’s insanity when you expect the results to be different. Therefore, I’ve learned that I will no longer fight a battle that I have to fight alone. If my partner isn’t fighting with me to make the relationship work, why must I fight for it? I would just be foolish wouldn’t I? If I’m not appreciated for the sacrifices that I make, why should I put in more effort?

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. When someone says that they love you. No matter how angry they are at you, they will never tell you to F Off or use profanity towards you because they would have respect for you. And no excuse will quantify the usage of any form of verbal abuse towards a love one. Respect is very important in any relationship. It’s infact what relationships are built on. Plus, how difficult is it to bite ones tongue and stop one from uttering hurtful words? It’s not difficult as I’ve done it many times. Plus, I’m a firm believer of, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything…”

I’m going to emphasize this again. Love with the right person would feel easy and natural. Love with the wrong person on the other hand would feel like a battlefield every day. You wouldn’t want to feel like you’re walking on a landmine field. I know how that feels and I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I had to go through. That being said, I stayed and I would have until the day I died because I loved him and I was committed to the relationship till he decided that he didn’t want us anymore. It wasn’t easy for me on some days but, I know that I’m not an easy person to be with either because I’m a perfectionist and I have my many imperfections as well but I did love with my whole heart and gave it my all that’s why every fight just chipped away at my heart. I know it’s not entirely my fault that the relationship didn’t work but, sometimes when I see happy married couples, it makes me wonder was I really that bad, or even unlovable that he didn’t want us to be together anymore.

But, that being said, I know he has his demons to fight and I shouldn’t blame myself because many people have told me over the years that whoever that ends up being loved by me would be very lucky and I truly believe in it as well. I’m a nice person with a huge heart and I’m capable to love strongly, passionately and deeply. I just haven’t found someone who wants to spend their lifetime with me yet.

I’m currently hustling a few jobs to make ends meet because I got scammed about a week ago and I lost all my savings. That being said, I’m still fighting and I still believe in hope. I’m excited for tomorrow and where this journey brings me. I’m thankful for the true friends that I have that have reached out to me with food and all. I’m truly blessed that I have them in my life.

XoXo, VA