3rd June is an important date as that was the date that Mom, Florence Yip was born. Therefore tomorrow would have been her 60th Birthday. Usually, I would send her flowers, get her a gift and treat her to a nice meal with cake of course. This is the first year that we haven’t been able to celebrate her Big Day. It’s been almost 6 months since she left us and not a day goes by without us missing her. We can’t visit her tomorrow because the current FMCO (Lockdown). I’ve made her Rose scented beeswax candle for her. Will have to wait until the lockdown is lifted till we could go visit her. Mom, we didn’t forget your birthday. I hope that you know that.
Mom grew up poor in Ipoh. She was the 5th child to my grandparents, She was the youngest and the cheekiest on top of things as she got my grandfather wrapped around her finger. She was the only one who was sent to an English Convent for her school education. I remember Mom telling me that after her dad passed when she was 12yrs old, she started working part-time after school hours to give money to her mother. She worked as a seamstress and also tutored. Prior to her dad passing away, the family ran a canteen business at the army camp. She even had a pet pig at one point in time.
Despite her circumstances, Mom was an extrovert that loved helping people. She was also very active in sports and represented her school in Volley Ball. Mom was well known as being a social butterfly. I’m pretty sure I got that trade from her. The ability to make friends just instantly. My Mom was always surrounded by her group of girlfriends that she kept in touch all these years. People are naturally drawn by my Mom’s energy. She’s always been very bubbly and her smile is infectious.
Before Mom met dad when she was 18. She was working at a car battery shop and dad saw her walking past daily during lunch break as at that time, dad was a site supervisor and he was high up and saw her. My dad then decided to ask around to find out who Mom was. Eventually, he learned where she worked and he decided to write her a letter. That was how my Mom and dad met and the rest was history.
My Mom always had a huge heart when it came to people and she would never think twice in helping out those in need, I guess she developed this compassion for people because she had nothing growing up. That’s another reason why she taught me to be charitable since I was young and that we should share. Friends and neighbours and family nevertheless loved Mom because she was very friendly and she would always be there for you. Mom was never selfish but always giving. She never demanded for anything but, dad pampered her because she deserved everything in the world.
Dad took good care of Mom from the day he met her until her last breath. He made her quit her job to start a family with him and supported her financially. My dad definitely is 1 in a million. Also, when Mom was bedridden during her last 6 months on earth, dad did everything to look after her. He fed her, changed her diapers and cleaned her while he slept on the floor beside her. It made Mom very sad but if that’s not proof that true love exists, what is? Will I ever be lucky to find love like that?
Many make New Year’s Resolutions. I never really bothered in making any because I hate setting expectations and when they’re not being met, it only makes you feel disappointed. I learn to stop having expectations for years now as I used to have them but we all know how that ends. So, I’ve learned to live with just taking each day as they come. That all being said, it doesn’t mean that I don’t strive to be better because I always challenge myself and those that I care for to always be better. I feel that life’s too short to not be the best you can be because it may be your only life unless you believe in reincarnation. 😀
I think most of my closest friends know that things have been tough emotionally for me this few months. That being said, life and time waits for no one. I’m turning another year older in just a few months time. This year is definitely going to be different. I’m waiting on a tribute tattoo session for my Mom that got postponed because of the MCO (Movement Control Order) 2.0. It’s now scheduled for 8th of March 2021. We’ll see if that session will happen especially when the Malaysian Government has been wishy-washy in terms of their decisions in controlling and keeping the Covid-19 numbers down. That being said, I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed that I’ll be able to get it done soon and as planned.
I’m definitely going back into the gym to workout. I want to destress, sweat, feel fit and get toned. But, I’ll definitely have to take a break from the gym when I get inked for a smooth healing. Plus, I want to be ready for Maldives. *hint.. *hint.. I know which resort I’m interested in this round.
Besides the gym, I’m also going to tryout some new recipes. I’m excited about that even though I still prefer cooking for others. LOL… I’ll think of more things to do as the months passes and I’ll keep y’áll updated. If you have ideas of something that I may like, do comment below and I might try them out.
As most of you now know or are learning about my Mom. Thursday, 18th February 2021 is exactly 2 months since she left us to be with The Lord. Not a day goes by without me thinking about her, our moments together and our conversations which I miss so, so much. I don’t think the missing will ever stop especially when you were so close to someone.
That being said, whenever I hear someone mentioned that their loved one is battling cancer, I feel a knot in my throat as I know that the Big C sounds like a death sentence. Atleast, it is to the most of us. It affects not only the patient but, also their loved ones. I remember when I first heard that Mom was diagnosed with lungs cancer 3rd stage in November 2015, I didn’t think of it badly but, instantly was “We’ll fight this to the very end and we will win this!!…” and we’ll get all the necessary treatment done which we did for the past 5 years. The journey was definitely a long one with many twists and visits to the hospital monthly.
Cancer grows and spreads fast which is scary but, staying positive and having a good doctor and support from loved ones is super important. Giving up in my opinion is not an option atleast not until you’ve given it all you have. We all deserve a fighting chance. I know that Mom lost the battle after 5 years but, everyone is different and I can testify that she fought hard over the years and never did she give up until the end.
I want you to know that you’re not alone. That there’s many people in the world who has gone through it or is still fighting it daily. Get the support you need. It’s always better to have some form of help as it’s not easy.
To set the record straight, I’m not mad at her for leaving. I just miss her so much. Her energy, her kindness towards everyone around her. She was the best mom anyone could ask for. Despite only spending little time with my Hubs, JR in 2019. She still loved him as her own son. I miss the daily conversations we had because with her, I could be real. I could talk to her about anything under the sun despite sometimes we had our disagreements but still we were mother and daughter.
Her last words to me when she was in the hospital was, “Don’t cry, don’t cry…” as she reached out to touch my hand when I broke down and cried when I saw her in the fragile condition she was in barely able to open her eyes or talk. Mom, I’m sorry that I’m still crying. I’m sorry. I know that you wouldn’t want to see me like this but, I just miss you so crazy much and I can’t help it.
It’s been a challenging start to a new year. It almost feels like hiking up a really tough mountain trail, expecting to be amazed and greeted by a spectacular view but, instead you’re greeted by an avalanche and you’re in fear while holding on to dear life as you see things crumble and being swept away or covered with mountains of snow not knowing how you’re going to survive this catastrophe. That being said, I still believe strongly that there’s always a way, a solution for things no matter how bleak they may seem. That’s my optimistic side peeking out and assuring myself and everyone who reads this that things will eventually be better. *MEGA HUGS from me to you.