38th Wedding Anniversary…

28th of October 2021 would have been my parents’ 38th Wedding Anniversary. They met when my Mom was 18 and my Dad was 24. The duration of them being together is one thing but what matters more was how they were like together all those years – how they handled their differences and the tough times together. It only made their relationship stronger than ever with every obstacle they faced. The biggest thing was how difficult it was when Mom couldn’t walk at the end of June 2020 and she eventually became bedridden. How my Dad looked after her without any help from any Caregiver only proof how much he truly loved Mom till her last breath. That’s true love.

When You Say Nothing At All was my Mom’s favourite song. Mom, this is for you. We miss you so much if you don’t already know.

My parents’ relationship gives me hope that true love exists and that I’d be lucky to someday meet someone that could truly love me and stay with me no matter what because they truly loved me and that we could work through things together no matter how tough they may be ego being put aside because our relationship matters more than anything else.

XoXo, VA

Never Did I Ever Imagine This Happening…

1 year and 8 months was how long it took for you to throw the towel in. I never thought that I’d hear you say that you no longer want to be with me because during our early days, I always asked you, “What would it take for you to leave me?” and your answer was, “You’d only leave if I ever cheated on you…” Thing is, you and I know that despite us being apart all this while, I stayed loyal and honest with you. Yet, that wasn’t enough for you to stay. It hurt when you said you were sure this round that you wanted a divorce.

I never imagine that I would have the need to speak to Divorce Lawyers and proceed with documentations to end my marriage. Honestly, who enjoys splitting up especially when you’re talking about a holly matrimony?

But, it’s alright as we’ve been unhappy for sometime now. We definitely wanted different things from the relationship and clearly we were both not getting what we needed. That being said, I’m not mad nor do I loathe you. I’m just disappointed because I truly needed you the most when my Mom passed away and these few months have been extremely tough for me. That being said, I understand that you needed a way out from the relationship so that you can start focusing on yourself and your own happiness. I do truly hope that you’ll feel better and you’ll someday be happy again.

I cherish the time and good moments we shared as to me they were special. You truly made me happy and it showed on my face on the day that we got married. I think you know this as you remembered how I looked at you. Thank you for marrying me back in 2019. It meant alot to me as Mom was still well and it was her last happy event that she attended before she got really ill in 2020. She got to see her only daughter get married. I owe that to you.

I’m sorry that we didn’t work out and that I wasn’t your forever person. Marriage means different things to people but, to me it means a lifetime commitment. I don’t give up easily. Ask any of my exes, when I love, I love with my whole heart. I’m a fighter that makes things work. I will only give up when I’ve given alot and I feel it’s not worth it anymore which is quite rare.

Walking on a landmine field daily wasn’t fun for me. It gave me lots of anxiety especially when you exploded with any wrong step that I took by your standards. Honestly, it hurt alot especially the profanities and name calling. To me, it wasn’t necessary esp. when you truly love someone. That’s a form of verbal abuse. I know you said that because you’re hurt, you hurt back but, that’s not love. Just ask anyone. I’ve never been in a relationship where my partner was angry and they felt that they had to yell at me or use such language with me. Arguing for hours on repeat or for days just isn’t healthy for anyone. It’s a waste of effort and energy and it doesn’t build the relationship but tears it down instead. I’m glad that you’re finally getting the professional help that you need.

Closing this chapter in my life makes me feel like a failure but, I know that’s not the case. Instead we were just wrong for each other from the start. We got into things too soon, too quickly despite us truly loving each other but, I guess it was also the circumstances we were in being apart 9,000+ miles away and we just wanted to bridge the distance and getting married was the answer we thought was right for us during that time.

XoXo, VA

Two Zero One Nine…

How was 2019 for you? I hope that it was somewhat a good one. 🙂 Mine started off with closing a 3.5yrs chapter. Trust me; it took alot of contemplating, sleepless nights and buckets of tears to finally bid goodbye to the familiarity that was once so dear and comforting but, it was for the right reasons esp. when we didn’t see the same future anymore.

I learned to smile again thanks to my now, Hubby that stepped up his game. He showed me that I shouldn’t feel alone and that someone who truly cares, would be able to sense when you’re going through a tough time and would willingly listen to your inner thoughts and issues and try their best to help because they just want to see you happy and nothing less. They’ll make sacrifices because you’re worth it. I finally found someone who treated me the way that I’ve always treated my other halves. True love is not lost but it exists when you love unconditionally. ❤

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This year, we got engaged and months later, we got married. It may seem fast but it felt right to us and that’s what matters the most. ❤ We experienced so many new things together, planning a ROM and being in a LDR Marriage. It definitely is a huge challenge  being 9000++ miles apart to be honest and 12/13hrs time difference. That being said, we communicate alot on a daily basis. Skype Calls, Whatsapp Calls + Messages, Instagram, FB and also iMessaging.

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We’re definitely looking forward to picking each other up from the airport again. The excitement level is always at it’s upmost peak when it’s just days, hours and then minutes to seeing each other.

Last year in February 2018, I chopped my long hair short to donate it to Locks of Hope, in the hope of helping someone and also I felt like it was time to change up my hair as I’ve had medium to long hair for easily 20 years at that point. Having short hair gave me alot of mixed feelings tbh. I liked how much less shampoo I had to use, I noticed that I hardly found my hair on the floor and it also took pretty fast to dry just with a towel but on the other side of things, I had to get a cut, a shave, a trim almost every 2-3 weeks once to either maintain the style or change it up and Boy!! did I go through a phase of wild, crazy shave haircuts as well. Why not right? Since it’s already that short to begin with and hair grows afterall. I received many compliments from friends and hairstylists saying that the new look matches my personality and that I pulled it off well. I honestly, enjoyed having short hair except that besides using hair products like Wax, Pomade and all that to style it, there wasn’t much versatility so the other thing that I did alot to make it more feminine when I wore dresses was to put on a nice hairband. I also dyed it in Blonde, Grey/Silver, Pink and Purple earlier this year but when I got engaged, I realized that I didn’t want to take our Pre-Wedding photos having rainbow hair and opted for a more natural hair colour so I visited my favourite Colourist Expert/DJ, Eddy Mino from AVEDA to get my hair coloured for our Pre-Wedding Photoshoot and for the ROM. Btw, I love AVEDA products as it’s really very natural and has less chemicals compared to the many other brands out there. 🙂 From getting my hair and makeup done for the Pre-Wedding Photoshoot and also ROM, I realized that I need to grow back my hair in order to be able to have the versatility to style for our Wedding and ontop of hating the number of hairpins and hairspray that was needed to hold my hair in place. It was painful to remove btw.

Work on the other hand started off really bad this year as a huge international consultancy firm played dirty and shortchanged my work with them and not pay me on top of things. If I had to be honest about it, it made me really mad as they were not handling things professionally and have left a bitter taste in my mouth based on this experience. I would only expect this kind of unprofessional-ism from a small company but not at their level. Because of that, I’ve blacklisted them and will never ever have anything good to say about the organization and I’m leaving it up to Karma. I slowed down work to focus on planning the ROM earlier this year as well and spent some quality time with my then Fiance’ and also my parents whenever possible.

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Mom’s health has been a roller-coaster ride over the past 4 years and this year, she had to go for more Chemo + Radiotherapy and in August she had an accident in the bathroom and it fractured/dislocated her elbow and needed emergency surgery to correct it. Months have past and they’ve finally removed the metal rods in her elbow but she’s still recovering from it. It has been tough seeing her struggle and go through the different treatments over the years but we’re not giving up as the most important thing is, she’s still able to enjoy life and our company.

What will 2020 have in store for us, for me? I know that I’m definitely looking forward to my travels as I’ve successfully gotten my American Travel Visa. It was definitely an intimidating and stressful experience but it’s the first step to a whole new chapter and experience. Fingers and toes are also crossed that our Alien Relative Petition (I-130) application goes through smoothly so that we can take the next steps. Also, I’m planning to up my workout regime and stay active. Definitely going to catch up with friends for lots of yummy food too. 🙂

I would like to end this blog post by wishing everyone, “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!!” 😀

XoXo, VAS

Our ROM…

Getting married is definitely something beautiful and it’s definitely the next level up in being a committed couple. JR and I didn’t have a long engagement like other couples typically would which ranges from a year or more before their big wedding day. It’s because for us, the process wasn’t straight forward and easy due to our different nationalities mainly. The process for our Civil Marriage was definitely different and was abit of a challenge because my Fiance’ is an American citizen and I’m a Malaysian.

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That being said, he have to be in Malaysia for atleast 7 days before we can apply for our Civil Marriage Registration. Upon submitting the application form, we would have to wait for 21 days before we are given a date for us to register our marriage in Malaysia. Sounds simple right? Actually, there’s more to it. Firstly, because Malaysia’s National language is Bahasa Malaysia/Bahasa Melayu (BM), the application form and most government documents are in BM. Therefore, we needed a certified translator to translate the application form for us so that JR could understand it.

Also, he needed to get a Single Status Affidavit/Single Status Letter to prove that he’s an eligible bachelor that can be married. He brought one from the US but upon checking the document at the National Registrar of Marriage’s Office here in Putrajaya, Malaysia, the Admin lady disapproved it and showed us an example of the version that they require. To get that particular version of Single Status Affidavit, we had to make an appointment with the American Embassy here in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia to get it. The particular Single Status Affidavit prepared and provided by the American Embassy then has to be Notarized by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs here in Malaysia before we can fully fill up the Civil Marriage Application Form to then be submitted to the National Registrar of Marriage’s Office here in Putrajaya, Kuala Lumpur and wait for the 21 days. The 21 days is for family or friends or anyone to object to the union of the 2 individuals. We wanted to get married in June but sadly the dates were fully booked up so we settled for 2nd of July 2019 instead. Btw, we submitted our documents and Civil Marriage Application Form on the 6th of May 2019. Our photos were then displayed on the Marriage Bulletin Board for 21 days.

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Alex Tan of Alextan Artworks spend 1/2 a day shooting our Pre-Wedding Photoshoot on the 11th of May 2019. A day before the shoot, we visited the studio and discussed about our outfits and theme of the shoot. The team was definitely patient and very helpful from the start. We enjoy our time with them and we love the selection of wedding gowns and also suits. I actually know Alex for years prior to him being an award winning photographer and he’s still the same delightful friend I know back in the day. On the day of the shoot, Elynn did my hair and makeup the way I wanted it. She managed to make my short hair look long in an updo. 🙂

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I highly recommend Alex Tan and his team for your photoshoot and videography needs. He can be contacted at: Alex Tan Artworks Do checkout his portfolio. You will be impressed. 🙂

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Also, for Bridal Makeup I would recommend Elynn Bridal Makeup as she did my hair and makeup during the photoshoot.

On our ROM, I got Kenny Yee from Makeup Miracle to do my makeup and he was definitely very professional, friendly and full of tips and he did a spectacular job on my hair and makeup and made me feel very beautiful on my special day. The main challenge the makeup artiste had with me was definitely my short pixie haircut during that time but they both delivered what I wanted which truly made me very happy.

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Check out Kenny Yee’s magic at Kenny Yee Bridal Makeup He’s amazing!! ❤

We got my Bridal Bouquet from LavieFlo. They are everlasting flowers that can be personalized and they smell soooooooooooooooooo good. 🙂

I think this post is definitely long so here’s the pics and video to enjoy instead. 😀

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I would like to thank everyone who made our special day awesome. ❤

XoXo, VAS