2021, 5 Months In…

The year is 2021, the month is now May. 5 months into the year. You know how most people are saying that we need a reset button for 2020 or a refund for the year as it was just almost total BS? Well, 2021 is starting to look like another loop of crazy. Well, atleast in my opinion as I’ve been dealt some horrible cards the first few months of the year. I was truly disappointed and deeply hurt because my dreams and hopes were shattered just like that. But, there is some positive out of it though. It’s like I’ve been given a second chance in the love department. LOL. This time, I’m going to choose wiser. I’m only going to let someone who is worthy and deserving of my love in.

Work has been moving forward. I’ve acquired some new clientele which is good. I have some new roles to work on. Let’s close some roles and make that money!! 😀

I can’t help but miss my Mom more recently due to my Birthday, Mother’s Day and her Birthday that’s coming up very soon. I hope that you’ve been well my Dearest Mom. Please forgive me for the tears that I’ve shed over the months. I know you wouldn’t want to see me sad but, how can I not miss your presence. We used to chat and speak to each other every other day and I love the way you used to laugh about things and nag me about things. I miss your love and caring nature.

I’m still on the fence about getting the C-19 Vaccination as there’s a few options now. To wait and get Pfizer sometime next year or to volunteer for AstraZaneca or Sinovac? Choices… I really dunno TBH. But, if that’s the only way for me to travel, I’ll have to eventually take it no matter what as Boy, I really want to fly. The last time, I flew internationally was in 2016. That was freaking long ago. Can you imagine, it’s been almost 5yrs since I last left this country? Damn!!

I’m starting to miss being able to just travel. Remember how it was Pre-C-19 Days? If you wanted to travel, all you would need is your passport and air tickets mainly. Now, you need to fill up a gazillion forms, get C-19 tested prior to your flights and follow so many freaking SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures). Will we ever go back to how it used to be? As it’s now a year plus that we’ve been having to live in this C-19 times. I think it makes many wonder and ponder this issue.

On a different note, is this a blessing in disguise that this happened or is it a curse? I think most will say the later. Well, for me I think if it wasn’t for it, I wouldn’t have seen some peoples’ true colours and I would most likely still be stuck in a hurtful relationship.

That being said, do you think this pandemic has made people drift apart by the different challenges that it brings with it or does it make people appreciate each other more and drive people closer in the process? I know that this tests relationships especially those in LDRs (Long Distance Relationships) as flying is way trickier than it used to be. If you’re in one now, how long will you be willing to wait for your partner? If it was me, my answer would be, no matter how long it will take. I will patiently wait and, I’d surely keep intouch over Videocalls, Voicecalls and Texting for sure. Thank God and the brilliant minds behind those awesome interactive apps.

How’s your 2021 been for you? I’d like to hear about it in the comments below.

XoXo, VA

The Saddest Thing Ever…

Everyone perceives things differently and feel differently about things in life. To me the saddest word is “Goodbye”. Bidding “Goodbye” to me is the most difficult thing because some “Goodbyes” are forever. One of the most difficult “Goodbye” that I had to say was to my Mom, last December. I wasn’t ready to let her go the way that she did despite already feeling her light slowly dimming during her last few months. She taught me everything but the one thing she didn’t teach me was how to live without her.

Too Good At Goodbyes Cover by Joseph Vincent…

The other “Goodbye” that I’m too familiar with are the ones at the airport when I had to send my partner off. Being 14,000km apart is definitely tough. Long distance is extremely tough and not for the weak. Plus, there is no guarantee that they’d come back or worse, it might be the last time you’d ever see them. Sadly, I’m too familiar with this.

“Goodbye” can also be when someone breaks your heart when they’ve decided that they no longer want you in their lives. This is the reason why “Goodbye” is the most painful word that exists to me.

That’s why I prefer saying, “See you…” instead of “Goodbye”. I feel that there’s some assurance and hope in it. “Goodbye” to me just sounds very final.

XoXo, VA

It’s Never Too Late…

Many make New Year’s Resolutions. I never really bothered in making any because I hate setting expectations and when they’re not being met, it only makes you feel disappointed. I learn to stop having expectations for years now as I used to have them but we all know how that ends. So, I’ve learned to live with just taking each day as they come. That all being said, it doesn’t mean that I don’t strive to be better because I always challenge myself and those that I care for to always be better. I feel that life’s too short to not be the best you can be because it may be your only life unless you believe in reincarnation. 😀

I think most of my closest friends know that things have been tough emotionally for me this few months. That being said, life and time waits for no one. I’m turning another year older in just a few months time. This year is definitely going to be different. I’m waiting on a tribute tattoo session for my Mom that got postponed because of the MCO (Movement Control Order) 2.0. It’s now scheduled for 8th of March 2021. We’ll see if that session will happen especially when the Malaysian Government has been wishy-washy in terms of their decisions in controlling and keeping the Covid-19 numbers down. That being said, I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed that I’ll be able to get it done soon and as planned.

I’m definitely going back into the gym to workout. I want to destress, sweat, feel fit and get toned. But, I’ll definitely have to take a break from the gym when I get inked for a smooth healing. Plus, I want to be ready for Maldives. *hint.. *hint.. I know which resort I’m interested in this round.

Besides the gym, I’m also going to tryout some new recipes. I’m excited about that even though I still prefer cooking for others. LOL… I’ll think of more things to do as the months passes and I’ll keep y’áll updated. If you have ideas of something that I may like, do comment below and I might try them out.

What are you interested in trying out?

XoXo, VAS

Happy Chinese New Year 2021 – The Year of The Ox…

I would like to wish the Chinese and anyone who celebrates Chinese New Year @ CNY a very Prosperous & Healthy New Year ahead. This year it’s the year of the Ox based on the Lunar Calendar. It’s my year, It was supposed to be Mom’s year as well. In our family, my grandma, my dad’s mother is an ox, my aunt Linda, my dad’s sister is also an ox, Mom was an ox and so am I. So, it was clear to state that our family consists of very strong women.

This is the first year celebrating CNY without Mom. She’s only been gone almost 2 months now but she’s clearly not forgotten. When I got dressed to head to my grandma’s place in Bangsar for our Reunion Dinner, my Mom’s words echoed in my ear, “Remember not to wear black on Chinese New Year!!” I also remember when my Mom heard about my Pre-Wedding Photoshoot, she said the same thing. As I went through a stage in 2015-2018 that almost any piece of clothing that I bought were all black. She was worried that I’d chose a black wedding dress.

Anyway, Reunion Dinner is one of the most crucial time to be home with family to enjoy a feast. This dinner is carried out on the Eve of Chinese New Year. If one is married, the wife will attend this dinner at her inlaws place and then on the first day of Chinese New Year, the pair will have dinner at the wife’s family home. So, if your hometown in in different states, you will then travel on the eve or on the first day of CNY.

Chinese New Year’s main purposes is to start the new year on a good note, there is no better way to do that than to be with family and have a big feast while children and the non married ones will get Red Packets or “Äng Paos”. It’s a time to let water under the bridge aka forgiveness as well.

I remember growing up celebrating CNY in Ipoh, Perak with my Mom’s side of the family when cousins, aunties, uncles, great aunts and uncles will meet up. It was always filled with snacking on CNY cookies, food + getting red packets, fire crackers and aunty and uncles gambling. My favourite CNY Cookies would be Pineapple Tarts, Love Letters + Beehive.

I think since Mom’s no longer with us. We’ll be celebrating CNY in Kuala Lumpur with my dad’s side of the family from now on. Not sure when I’ll ever head back to Ipoh, Perak TBH. Maybe if Hubs visits and we have something to do or see I guess. I was never really close to Mom’s side of the family. Mainly because of the language barrier. I suck at speaking Cantonese. I can only speak a few words here and there but I can understand more than speak. Ipoh definitely has good food that I will miss.

Anyway, we did the Reunion Dinner at my Grandma’s place and high chances, we won’t be doing any visiting for CNY as we’re still under MCO 2.0 (The Movement Control Order) and also because Mom just passed away not too long ago. Chinese tradition states that the family in mourning should not be celebrating anything for the year. Mom was Chinese so, I feel that we have to honour her traditions. This means, I would not be giving out any Red Packets this year as well.

Talking about Red Packets, my Mom and I had our lil tradition. I was not allowed to open any of my red packets until the 15th day of CNY which meant that CNY was over. I had to write the aunty/uncle name that gave me the red packet on the packet itself too. I got a strong feeling my Mom just didn’t want me to appear rude and open the red packets infront of the aunty that I just received the red packet from as may kids does. Some ungrateful kids would also comment about the amount that they receive. So if the amount was small, the kid would say it out loud. LOL.

Everything that I do and as the days that passes me by, I can’t help but, be reminded about Mom and the things she used to say to me. That’s just how much I miss my Mom.

XoXo, VAS